Single income vs dual income – with and without kids
My wife and I can both work. Should we? What about when we have kids? What does the Bible say?
You’re probably familiar with the acronym “DINKs,” short for “dual income no kids.” In some circles, that lifestyle is believed to be the Holy Grail of young families. (Two incomes, one house, married filing jointly tax return, what could be better?) Then that first child comes along, then the second. Somewhere along the way we wonder what the right combination of working should be as the new family starts to grow.
First, let’s start with the definitions:
SINKs – Single income, no kids (married or not)
DINKs – Dual income no kids (married)
SEWKs – Single employed with kids (married or not)
DEWKs – Dually employed with kids (married)
These acronyms are much clearer than the Bible’s guidance on whether husbands and wives should both work. So what is a young Christian family to do?
Choosing on the game of life
There’s an old board game where you choose your career path, choose marriage (or not), and choose kids (or not). While the acronyms above can make this feel like a game, these are real-life decisions, and you may not spend your whole life in one category. I have already lived all four acronyms, going from SINK to DINK to SEWK to DEWK. My family currently occupies the DEWK category with just one toddler in our home. Praise God for His grace and mercy that there is only one toddler right now.
Choosing work versus childcare
When that first (or second) child comes around, many families struggle with the decision of childcare. Should one of us stay home? Should we ask the grandparents for help? When should the baby go to preschool? Should we homeschool? When? How? There are endless questions. The answer in this article may surprise you, but then again it may not: Ask God. What does He say?
You may be tempted to look to financial articles for advice and guidance on your financial posture and decisions, but we should all ask the Almighty about each move we make. I will be the first to admit that it’s not easy to discern what God has planned, but He does have a plan for each family unit.
It can be incredibly freeing when you know His plan and begin to carry it out. After the birth of my first child, my wife and I embraced paid (expensive) childcare. The cost for just one child was more than our mortgage, and it wasn’t even close. Yet, we quickly realized that the calling from God on our family was to be “out” and “in” the community, each on our own. My wife and I both work and love the people we work with and the things we get to do each day. Our daughter, now a toddler, loves preschool and the experiences she gets to enjoy each day. At the end of our days, we re-unite as one family—each with a different experience or story from the day, but each with a belief that our choice was God-given and made possible by His provision. What freedom! What grace!
So, what can you do? First, learn the acronyms. (That’s a joke. Mostly.) Then, ask God for help. Finally, embrace the calling He has for your family and trust His provision. Don’t underestimate God’s calling in your life and the power of prayer every step of the way. Choosing your work (whether you’re married or not) is a spiritual exercise first and a financial exercise second. Trust that the Lord will make it clear to you.