The One Stewardship Question I Apologize for Asking
In my thirty years of serving in stewardship ministries, there is only one question I regret asking.
“Should I tithe on my gross or net income?”
When I hear it, it makes me cringe. These nine words lead people down a path that stunts their joy of giving and generosity. If I have ever asked you this question or discussed it with you, I am sorry.
As part of my penance, it seems right that I should share some reasons why this is the wrong question:
The question isn’t relevant for most attenders. Estimates are that only about 5–15% of churchgoers tithe, and the average Christian gives 2.5% of their income. If someone suggested we should read the Bible and pray for 5% of our day, this question is equivalent to asking whether that is 5% of the whole day or 5% of our waking hours. Either measure, accompanied by a worshipful heart, would be a significant shift for most Christians.
Even if it were relevant, the premise underneath it is off. The core assumption behind the question is that giving is driven by legalistic obedience. Am I giving the right percentage (10), and am I doing the calculation correctly? Obedience is one of the reasons I give. It isn’t the only reason, and it hasn’t been the primary one for decades. Stewardship can transform the heart and aid our discipleship journey. Taking a legalistic approach robs the process of most of its joy and discipleship benefit.
The go-to response is no better than the question. Invariably, when a stewardship leader is asked the gross or net question, they pretend to think for a moment, and then ask do you want God to bless the gross or the net? The answer is obviously gross, and suddenly we’ve equated blessing with giving amounts and taken a few steps toward the prosperity gospel.
Similarly, the question tells us the other 90% isn’t as important.Stewardship believes all of our money matters to God. The world would benefit if committed Christians spent more time thinking about how to create a spiritual return on the other 90%.
And the cost here runs in both directions. An emphasis on obedience minimizes the role of the giver to someone who provides cash to fund the ministry. Sometimes the church equates the gift of giving with the gift of earning. They aren’t the same thing. People with the gift of giving are blessed with the ability to invest worldly assets to produce a spiritual return. Engaging givers in shaping a ministry’s vision and calling would produce greater kingdom impact and raise the kingdom return of ministries.
But this doesn’t mean the math is irrelevant. Tracking your giving percentage is important, but the gross or net question leads you into a host of permutations based on what you include and don’t include. We quickly reach the level of tithing on our mint, dill, and cumin (Matthew 23:23) while missing the emphasis on our hearts.
So let me trade one regrettable question for two I would happily ask again:
How do you calculate your income? Find a number that makes sense to you and can be easily tracked using data from your paystub or other financial records. We don’t have to use the same number. If God can keep up in Indonesian and English, varied definitions of income aren’t a big issue.
What percentage of that number is God asking you to give? Trust God will use this question to move you forward in your journey as a disciple.
This is not only a matter of the heart. It is also a matter of arithmetic. The obedience-focused approach isn’t generating the income it should, and it is curtailing the donor’s spiritual formation. If every Christian suddenly tithed under the narrowest definition of net income, churches would need emergency elder meetings to figure out how to spend the money. Focusing on financial discipleship might deepen our relationship with Jesus and generate more income for Kingdom work. It would also leave me with one less thing to apologize for.
