The purpose driven retirement

Like most young boys, my son was interested in insects. We thought it would be cool to order a glass ant farm that would hang on the wall so we could witness these amazing creatures doing what they have been intricately created to do.

We followed the instructions. But it didn’t turn out so well for them. Before we knew it, we were planning the funeral procession. Apparently, ants weren’t created to live in a picture frame on a wall.

On a death certificate, there’s a box that calls for “Cause of death.” But no coroner ever fills in that box with “loss of purpose.” It usually manifests itself in some other way. Have you known someone who withered away too quickly after some significant life transition, such as leaving a long-term career where they felt impactful, or raising children who left the home, or the unfortunate loss of a dear loved one (especially for men)?

When it’s a choice of ours (like retirement), we feel confident that we’ll be just fine without a true purpose to wake up to. After all, we’ll have free time to do whatever we want. We think nice slow mornings, running errands, hanging with family, playing some sports, volunteering once a week, and seeing new places will fill this void. We’ll be able to reflect on our past purpose and leverage it to keep being purposeful in the future. We envision our past purpose as a massive tank of “purpose gas,” and now we’re going to combust through it over the next 25 years.

But in reality, our past purpose is more like sand in our hand than gas in a tank. Too many retirees run up against a God-sized, hardwired void that can’t be filled with man-made devices and distractions.

What is it about a purpose that makes it so beneficial? What’s in a purpose? Why does a lack of one punish us so severely? Why must I have one in order to thrive in all areas of my life? And, how the heck do I find one?

The first step is to change how we think about purpose. It’s not what you do, it’s why you do it. Many people spend way too much time on the what; in fact, some never get past this. We really need to better understand the why in order to more effectively mobilize (we’ll get to the how in a minute).

You are hardwired by God to love and serve others; it’s a universal calling. Therefore, it’s a universal purpose. When you shift your thinking away from wondering what you can do to find happiness and start thinking instead about how you can meet the needs of others in some way, you begin to understand what a real purpose is.

I have a client who enjoys woodworking. But the part that gives him the greatest enjoyment is using his personal time and money to make gifts that bless others. He loves crafting interesting pieces and giving them away. Obviously, it’s not about the money, it's about the purpose. He has a pretty specific how, doesn’t he?

Some areas of skill and gifting in your life are very specific like this … which is great! Use them as you can. But recognize that they are only manifestations of your core purpose, which is to love and serve others. My client can’t spend his next 25 years woodworking for other people. He would run out of money and people to give the gifts too; eventually they would say, “Okay, thanks, Ron, but I don’t have any more room for the beautiful pieces you make for me.”

So, what do you do? This is going to sound simple but it’s not easy. It takes real effort.

You start by waking up every day reminding yourself that you are NOT here to figure out how to enjoy life. Seeking personal happiness is NOT your purpose. If you just set out to pursue happiness, you will find the opposite. (Plenty of research bears this out.)

Instead, wake up each day and ask God to use you … today. See your life as not your own. Ask Him to open doors and opportunities where you can benefit and serve others. Ask Him to be glorified with your day.

You don’t need a daily volunteer assignment to live out your purpose (although there is value in that). But if you can start seeing your purpose as a daily adventure to engage whatever opportunities God orchestrates, I promise you will have no lack. It’s unbelievable how this works. When you stop thinking about what you want to do today and start looking and listening, God starts working. This is your purpose.

It may look different each day, it may be more consistent at times, it may have seasons to it. But if you start seeing yourself as a person on daily mission, you will thrive, even when you don’t know exactly what the how will look like. And the real paradox of all of this is that you’ll have more joy, peace, and fulfillment than you ever thought possible.

God is going to open your eyes to needs all around you. You might even become overwhelmed with all the needs you see, feeling that there’s no way you can make a big enough difference. Ignore this voice, because it wants to distract you from doing that next seemingly small thing. It’s not small. Our God is in the business of using your small acts of daily obedience to change lives. And, one of those lives will be yours😊.

Don’t be an ant on the wall.

Joel Malick is the author of Afterwork: An Honest Discussion about the Retirement Lie and How to Live a Future Worthy of Dreams. He and his co-author, Alex Lippert, are cofounders of EverOak Wealth Co. in Colorado Springs.

Afterwork

An Honest Discussion about the Retirement Lie and How to Live a Future Worthy of Dreams
Alexander Lippert & Joel Malick

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